I have a really hard time with being vulnerable. I was raised to keep my life private. As I got older, a need for privacy seemed to be more and more necessary. Vindictive exes and baby-daddy-drama has put me against a wall where I needed to keep personal things to myself. I didn’t want anyone to see things that would show potentially “negative” sides of my life. Your life needs to be perfect to be on social media, right? I would be afraid of sharing my bad moments; also bringing me where I wouldn’t share my good moments.
I thought of blogging as a platform for only the good moments, showcasing the highlight of my day and life. This isn’t what I want; I want to be genuine, brutally honest, and myself- but in the kindest way possible. Even my beauty reviews are my honest opinions, given from the heart.
So why is it so difficult to put that honesty into me? I’m not afraid of comments or feedback. Lord knows I have received some of the harshest comments and lived through them. It’s the exposure. People who wish me the worst in life and cause me the most incredible trauma will see who I am behind closed doors.
The saying is to “let your haters hate.” But I dislike the negative vibes they throw at me much more than the hate they are filling themselves with. I must remind myself that being vulnerable means being authentic to myself and my emotions. Having my feelings, letting them pass, and moving on to raising them again. I chose to be vulnerable for myself, it doesn’t mean people will like it, but it doesn’t mean I should let it worry me.